Jon tries – and fails – to inspire us with ingredients picked up from a far-flung foray…
Hello! It’s been ages, hasn’t it? Where have I been? Funny you should ask; mainly losing my mind on prescription medicine in Tokyo hotel rooms. Seriously. For days on end. I think I might have developed a split personality. Don’t laugh at me like that! Thankfully my mental state hasn’t diminished the desire to poke a finger at the world of celebrity cuisine, as seen through my TV. Let me share. I accidentally managed to catch the final (on repeat I think) of one of those ‘Great British Menus’. Honestly, I thought the stuff about cooking for royalty was a sham. Turns out it was for Prince Charles and Camilla, so make your own mind up on that.
After hours upon hours marvelling at how unhealthy chefs can look cooking good quality food, and listening to them bang on in regional accents about seasonal lamb, you know what Chuck had to say about the lovingly prepared, locally sourced, four course banquet? The pastry on the rabbit sausage roll was nice. That was it. [Insert comedy 'Carry On...' style deflation sound effect, here.] God knows how underwhelmed he’d be by my efforts.
I’d like to say let’s bring it back to real local cooking, but in the hope of distracting my mind from eating itself in Japan I wandered around Tokyo cornershops anticipating our next little get together. Turned out to be a thankless, not to say pointless task. Every five yards you stumble across a convenience store which sells anything but food you actually cook. They’ve practically gobbled up regular stores. Anyway, I did find a little supermarket, which was about the right size to qualify. What I thought I’d found were imaginative yet simple ingredients to whip up Sesame Marinated Steaks with some Chili-Dusted Shiitake on the side. You’d see from the pictures (if I remembered to take any), that what I actually discovered was that pictures of juicy cuts of flesh on a tin actually equate to the leather usually found in archaeological digs. Seriously, type ‘oldest shoes ever’ found into your search engine.
I did try and turn the mess into a meal, but when you’re wondering if bacteria would even be able to digest your dinner; it’s time to give up. So I did. There we have it, our first Cornershop Cuisine failure. Sack me.
Next time, I want to remark on what TV food is doing to the simple man as illustrated by ‘Come Dine With Me‘. I’ll have to make a note to remind my selves. In the meantime I’m off to LA. Hope I don’t lose it and come back with a recipe for Twinkies Stuffed with Fried Cheese…
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey mate, try Gjelinas in Abbot Kinney near Venice. Food is great. Also a sushi recipe opposite that looks like a modernist house is meant to be ace too. Been to LA twice thus year and still not over jet lag.
Ahh, they joy of typing and playing with baby. Meant restaurant and this.
I want that sushi recipe. I’d like to live in a Le Corbusier California Roll.